I wasn't going to write about the couple of beers I had on Thursday night, for reasons which will become apparent, but the lack of good beer on my horizon, combined with a desire to see if I can write interesting stuff about uninteresting beer, has compelled me otherwise. These were two bottled beers which I'd had in my parent's cellar for a few months, waiting for my infrequent returns, which my current lack of funds induced me to open. They were bought from my local rather boring off licence, so my hopes weren't high, but I must admit to still be disappointed. However bad beers should be reviewed along with their more palatable cousin, so onward we go.
W J King Market Porter
W J King is a brewery in Horsham in West Sussex, quite near me, which has produced several beers that I have tried, and though I have no record of my impressions, I seem to remember that they were mixed at best. This beer unfortunately fails to reach even those standards. As the name suggests it is a dark porter, though its appearance is let down by a lack of any appreciable head (and people who've seen me pour a bottled beer will know that if any doesn't have a head filling at least half the glass after my pathetic attempt, there's something odd going on). It's 5%, a respectable strength, though the strongly alcoholic aroma suggests something much stronger. Unfortunately the alcoholic smell rather overpowers anything else in the nose, which is unsurprising when you come to taste it.
Whilst the alcohol is surprisingly absent from the taste, unfortunately it isn't replaced by much else. There is a certain metallic edge, reminiscent of a canned beer, with a slight umami taste, and another unpleasant flavour I can't pin down, but otherwise nothing much. The flavour shape (I often think flavours have shapes, I once describe a white wine as being like a ball with lots of flavour round the outside but nothing in the middle) is fairly uniform, which is nice, but that's about the only positive thing I can say. All in all, not one I'd recommend.
Wadworth Henry's Original IPA
With this beer, Wadworth seem to have done what Greene King have done, namely called a beer an IPA when by my definition it is no such thing. An IPA, for those of you who may not know, is a beer which is well-hopped, originally so that the hops' preservative qualities would allow it to survive the journey to India to be served to British soldiers in the time of the Raj. Therefore its primary characteristic is a hoppy bitterness and aroma. This beer lacks both. Its flavour is best described as dull, tasting mostly of, and I hate to say this, simply beer. And bad beer at that. The artificial carbonation in the bottle rendered it so acidic as to be almost undrinkable without being allowed to sit for a while to lose some CO2, until eventually it becomes something one can drink, albeit without much pleasure. The only good thing I can think to say is that at least this injection of carbon dioxide to a lifeless product gave it a good head, which made a change from the previous pint. Not that that's a reason to buy it.
On a side note, I do believe that on the whole beer is better on draught than in bottles, so it's best, if you see these in a pub in tap, to try them for yourselves, but be prepared for a crap pint nevertheless.
W J King Market Porter
W J King is a brewery in Horsham in West Sussex, quite near me, which has produced several beers that I have tried, and though I have no record of my impressions, I seem to remember that they were mixed at best. This beer unfortunately fails to reach even those standards. As the name suggests it is a dark porter, though its appearance is let down by a lack of any appreciable head (and people who've seen me pour a bottled beer will know that if any doesn't have a head filling at least half the glass after my pathetic attempt, there's something odd going on). It's 5%, a respectable strength, though the strongly alcoholic aroma suggests something much stronger. Unfortunately the alcoholic smell rather overpowers anything else in the nose, which is unsurprising when you come to taste it.
Whilst the alcohol is surprisingly absent from the taste, unfortunately it isn't replaced by much else. There is a certain metallic edge, reminiscent of a canned beer, with a slight umami taste, and another unpleasant flavour I can't pin down, but otherwise nothing much. The flavour shape (I often think flavours have shapes, I once describe a white wine as being like a ball with lots of flavour round the outside but nothing in the middle) is fairly uniform, which is nice, but that's about the only positive thing I can say. All in all, not one I'd recommend.
Wadworth Henry's Original IPA
With this beer, Wadworth seem to have done what Greene King have done, namely called a beer an IPA when by my definition it is no such thing. An IPA, for those of you who may not know, is a beer which is well-hopped, originally so that the hops' preservative qualities would allow it to survive the journey to India to be served to British soldiers in the time of the Raj. Therefore its primary characteristic is a hoppy bitterness and aroma. This beer lacks both. Its flavour is best described as dull, tasting mostly of, and I hate to say this, simply beer. And bad beer at that. The artificial carbonation in the bottle rendered it so acidic as to be almost undrinkable without being allowed to sit for a while to lose some CO2, until eventually it becomes something one can drink, albeit without much pleasure. The only good thing I can think to say is that at least this injection of carbon dioxide to a lifeless product gave it a good head, which made a change from the previous pint. Not that that's a reason to buy it.
On a side note, I do believe that on the whole beer is better on draught than in bottles, so it's best, if you see these in a pub in tap, to try them for yourselves, but be prepared for a crap pint nevertheless.
. Would love to hear you being positive about the drink you claim to love so much. The CMRA needs youth positivity to further our good work!
ReplyDeleteOf course I aim to be as supportive as possible to the real ale industry, but I think that giving a bad beer anything but a bad review is both disingenuous and in the long term harmful to the beer scene. For good beer to succeed, bad beer cannot be treated with kid gloves in the name of "positivity"
DeleteYou make a fair point but don't you think there's a need to make the CMRA a little more relevant? You could try reviewing Budweiser our Becks to mix things up? Would love to read your witticisms on the subject....
DeleteCAMRA stands for CAMpaign for Real Ale. Budweiser and Becks are not real ales, and do not claim to be. So why would you connect a review of them to CAMRA? It's like a cheese society reviewing yogurt - it's a related product, but doesn't fall within their remit.
DeleteAnd the whole point of reviewing beer is to tell people about the good stuff AND help them avoid the crap - you wouldn't give a bad restaurant a positive review, so why would you do it with beer?
Calm down Cora it's only lager!
ReplyDelete